Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Day 180 - Worry and Gratitude

I found out yesterday that a woman I respect and admire, who isn’t far from my age, had a heart attack Monday.  She is recovering, but I am sure she is scared out of her mind.  This isn’t supposed to happen to young, active people!  For the last year or so I’ve been hearing reminders that you have to take care of yourself.  Put your own oxygen mask on first.  Breathe.  I’ve been doing my best, but wow, this is scary.

I think we all need to step back and take a look at our life and figure out where something can give.  Believe me, I know how hard it is to find someone to watch a special needs child so you can have time to exercise, or spend some time alone with your spouse.  I don’t remember the last time I had an uninterrupted night’s sleep. 
But, I am lucky.  Steve makes sure that I can exercise, and fully supports this journey.  But, a lot of other things have to slide.  It sounds silly to think of making a choice between vacuuming and doing laundry.  Cooking dinner comes before cleaning.  But that’s OK.  I am learning to make choices.  And now, making some time to relax is bumping up in the priority list. I had said I wanted to go in the sauna every day for detox.  Now, I want to go in the sauna every day to relax.  I can still multi-task!

With all this on my mind, I had a little extra motivation at the muscle challenge class tonight.  I pushed really hard.  And, it was a great class.  Of course, by the time I got to yoga I was beyond exhausted.  I had to rest a few more times than I normally do, but I made it through.  I was never so happy to hear ‘final relaxation’!  And, those five minutes do count.
Today was a really hard day, but I don’t want to say I am not grateful for something.  In truth, I am grateful for just waking up this morning.  For having a good morning with Michael.  For him learning to swim.  For having the best husband in the world.  I am grateful to exercise with my cousin.  So, there are so many sources of joy and love in my life.  Even as my heart is heavy with worry, it’s also bursting with happiness.  Yes, I’m strange!

 

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